Yes just an up-date
Written at 10:58 a.m. on 2006-03-08
Well hott damn- I know I suck so bad at up-dating its been over a month! Well I am now 23. Woo hoo. I don't feel it though, the only thing I feel is that I am no where I wanna be right now. When I graduated HS- I thought I'd be married and have a career and a baby now. But NO! I am far from that. All my frieds have a baby or are having a baby. It sucks- I feel like I am getting behind on my time- You know when you were in HS and all your frineds had sex and there you were still lying about doing it? No? Well that was me. Always behind- last to get her period, last to grow some boobs (the small ones I got) last to have a baby and probably get married.
But what can I do? Nothing.... Me and Timmy on the other hand have been talking about buying a house. And I know I don't make enough money to buy a house- But I can help make payments. We were thinking about paying half of it (ok well Timmy cause I don't have money saved) and financing the rest. But we gotta sit down and talk to his parents. So I dunno how thats gonna go.
He got me a really pretty aquamarine ring with 3 diamonds on the side of it for my b-day! Its so pretty- he has such good taste! I think if we move into a house- we'll be getting engaged before or after the move. He's already told my mom he wanted to marry me. So this si it- He's the man I'll have for the rest of my life- and I can't be happier! Although he has been getting on my nerves a little lately.
His insecurities are kinda pushing me away- Not like where I wanna break up with him- But he gets annoying to where I don't even wanna hear him talk sometimes. Its like I just don't wanna hear "Do you love me" and "So who did you hang out with? And? And? AND?" "Maybe Havi would like it" and "Go see your other boyfriend?"I mean damn- I get asked all the time this shit- I might as well do it! (Not really but you know what I'm sayin!) I mean am I really making him feel this way or what? I don't know how I could be- but could I? I just don't get it!
I know we got stuff to work on before we get married- You don't get married with problems in your relationship- so we gotta work on it- I think we need to communicate more. And understand eachother more. Cause women interpret things on an emotional level- and men interpret things on a manly level. I dunno how to say it exactly but we take what they say into our emotions and they take what we say as a stab at their manly-hood. So I know we have to work on that- We just need to ask- BEFORE we get mad- Is THIS what you meant. And most of the time- its always a No No No- I meant THIS and I am like OH! Its so easy to take what a man says the wrong way.
But all in all everything is goin good. I started hanging with Katie again. Some of you long time readers may know her- She was getting drunk and crazy in the begining of my old blog (Barbiewoman) and then she got locked up. But she's been out now and been doing good and I am so very proud of her. She's such a good mommy now to her son and she'll be sober tomorrow (The 9th) for a whole year! Congrats to Katie!
Well sorry for the slacker update- But ya'll leave me some comments notes, whatever- damn myspace is getting to me. Speaking of- if any of you d-landers have a myspace add me- www.myspace.com/itsmyfuckinlife
XOXO
