Not MyTimmy
Written at 12:00 p.m. on 2006-01-17
As if my life can't get any more complicated!
I get a mad call from Timmy yesterday accusing me of acting "loose" and "trampy" and the bar and being all over a guy named "Tom" .
I just don't even know what to say to that- He heard it from his Brothers, girlfriends, brother (I know right) cause supposidly he was there. But what really makes me mad is that this guy- gave me googley eyes the first and ONLY time I ever met him. He kept looking at me the same way. Ugh. But you know- "I'm not trying to tell you what to do man but if that was my girl- I'd dump her ass in a heart beat."
Whatever dude- You know I just can't believe that hugging my friend Tom is being "all over him" . Tom is a guy I met when I was talking to a guy named Matt Sours (called him sourpuss in my old diary) Tom dated the girl behind matt's house. And he has 2 other brothers as well, one that Amanda was involved with (His brother Jim) who calls my phone sometimes. Recently cause Kristen made me beep him and ask what was up with Tom. Kristen has been seeing Tom for lkike a month. Like I'd be all over my friends "man" But I dunno- Its all he said she said bullshit. I feel like a damn kid. And I've been thru this not trusting shit before. And I am not going thru it again- If Timmy feels our relationship is not fixable then so be it. I have no say so here.
I've told him I just hugged Tom and that Kristen was the one all over Tom. If hugging my guy frineds is a fuckin crime or a portryal of trashiness then I won't fuckin do it.
I won't even go to the bar. Since I always seem to get in trouble and "get wild". I've always been a little wild. But I love Timmy and I'd never do anything to jeopardise that. So I don't know what is me and Timmys fate right now. But I plan on sticking to my goals with or without him. God, school, not drinking so much and myself. Cause I have just been beating myself up in a bad way by getting in trouble after my DUI. My self-esteem really sucks and I know that. So I need to work on myself too.
Anyways- I am goin to lunch. Don't know what I'll eat- I feel sick to my stomach.
<3
Jamie
